Out loud, in the dark,
I breathe out,
The cloud you,
Pushed, into my mouth.
It sounds like love,
But it tastes like dust,
And now I can’t get it out —
My mouth wraps round the wind as it howls,
My mouth shouts out in mumbled sounds,
It doesn’t taste right.
Your love is like dust in the night.
Out loud, I breathe in memories,
That choke me,
And make feel alone.
Out loud, I breathe out, the nightmares you told me,
Were love when I was lonely.
Out loud, I sing into the night,
It’s howling out its heart,
It’s howling it out loud.
Out loud, I speak in momentary glitches,
Odd stop and starting twitches that dramatise the movement of
Out loud discomfort, taught to bones that can’t forget your smile,
Why did I say it?
Why did I say I loved you, out loud?
When the night howls,
I don’t feel so lonely, knowin’ it’s not just me,
When I walk in crowds,
I see your face,
Strangers wearing your disgrace,
With the same dimples in their cheeks,
That make me feel like I can’t breathe,
Out loud — what if you hear me?
Out loud, I smile and stand curled in,
Like someone who’s unsure, if they should’ve walked out or in,
When the door was opening to let the light through.
Out loud, I sigh, and wonder why, I can’t get you, out loud.
Why can’t I get you out loud,
I never should have said I loved you,