The carpet has made marks on my feet
I’ve been dancing.
You knew I was angry,
And said you’d like to see that side of me,
The truth is, I smile as I think this,
My anger is not what I hide
It’s the entitlement, the shame, the embarrassment, the hurt
That I drag along with it
That’s why I’ve been blasting pop songs
Into my ears whose hearing is already faded
So I can calm enough to be a better friend.
Instantly you asked me why it would make sense for me to have the thing
I felt I had lost
Ever since I knew you, you said, you’ve been trying to move on
A part of me was annoyed.
What you said was so true, and
I wish I were drinking tea with you,
Because you’d probably laugh at my scrunched up nose
Remind me of my goals
And tell me about a new book, that I probably should read soon.
I settle into the conversation,
Feeling a little more human,
A little less ferocious,
Like a wild beast at feeding time.
I laugh about your new roommate,
We talk about cosy murder mysteries
— apparently that’s a genre?–
And I pull my coat on,
Smiling more, believing a little more,
Timing myself, too.
Just a little dancing, a little talking to you
Opened my world, you handed me the rope
And then told me to climb out of this
Metaphorical hole, I had seemingly dragged myself into.
It struck me that a phonecall with a friend,
Is heart medicine.
I ended the call with a giggle,
Trotted out for a walk,
Thinking about all of the healing contained in just one talk.
