Hazelnuts in Winter

I am

At the crux

Of something

That tastes

Like hazelnuts

In Winter

Though Summer

Calls from my


I miss friends

Who’s last names

I no longer know

Who sheltered me

On days

That felt like

Harsh words

In the TV room

Of my house

I miss the sea

Though it is close

And the feeling

Of complete


That resides

Somewhere in

The curved spine

Of books, and

A man, whose heart

I don’t ever want

To own

(Because a home

Should also

Have the choice

To let me in)

I am in

A missing sort of


And it’s fine to

Tell me

I have it good

(I know

I’m not saying

I don’t)

But I am also of the


And not of


Lit up words

And numbers

Neon symbols

That make my

Eyes cross

And my chest panic

It’s okay

To miss the sea

On days

When everything is


And the sun


And I am at the

Crux of something

That tastes

Like hazelnuts in Winter

Published by LughLana

Hey there. My name is Ash. Whenever I feel lost or confused, I write. This blog is a project in releasing the poetry I would have kept locked up inside, otherwise. It's pronounced 'LOU-lah-NA.' Enjoy your visit!

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