A Hug

My tongue is stuck to the top of my mouthLast night, I dreamed of night café’s Served by ghosts, I took coffeeDown a throat, cloggedWith words and tears likeSome old-house drain.I could write the scriptAt this point, I thinkGuzzling coffee, hoping the caffeineWill kick my adrenaline upMy anxiety into hyperdriveMy movements edgy, soI become herContinue reading “A Hug”

#31 healing poetry; completely flawed, completely real

I’ve been holding onto so much.Strange tales told at midnight,Someone else’s love.I couldn’t let go of the idea,that that love should be for me, too.And if I wasn’t built to be her,this imaginary lover, then maybe I could act it out.See if he arrived, andsilver screens wouldn’t touchwhat we’d create.But my creation spun out ofContinue reading “#31 healing poetry; completely flawed, completely real”

I Love You

In the ground I grind outA beat with my teethThrough my feet The earth reverberatesOr is it meControlling how the dirt Eats my stampingWhen I feel I’m dancingIn the stone hearth Of a forest We cut downYears ago Like my heartstringsIt’s strong and steadyBut frayed After years of untanglingDetangling, unravelingI sit In the sticky messContinue reading “I Love You”

Disintegrate with tears

I sip some water and think about my needsin this strange eraof pandemic’s and reamsof sorrowunraveling on my screenthat are not mineit’s a strange thingwhen sadness wakesyou to careyou had not knownyou had anymoreit’s strange how wallswe builddisintegrate, with tears.

The Taut Truth

I feel tautNext to the presence of your possession.An extra person, is convalescing,In this room, built for just us two.“Is it true?”I think, and worry thatA part of me is excited — To taste the excitement of someone else.To breathe it in through every sense. Does that make sense? They say that if I forgiveContinue reading “The Taut Truth”

Writing when it hurts…and a poem about us.

This post will be a little different, because I’m in a different space while writing it. But, an important one, I think. Recently, my body went into shock. Then, I had an actual real-life shock. Then, I said, well fuck-it, what do writers do when everything goes to shit? We write. I’m used to theContinue reading “Writing when it hurts…and a poem about us.”

Writing for Instagram

I began a new challenge in my writing journey: setting up a poetry instagram (@nyxilotbiscuit). In a past life, I was vaguely annoyed by Instagram poetry, it made me feel like short sentences that were really just phrases of frustration or glee were being placed on a literary pedestal – somewhere, that, maybe they shouldn’tContinue reading “Writing for Instagram”

Body Shock

Electric chords hum lullabies to me in my sleepI deprive myself of rest it seemsI hardly speak about the demons that visit meThey’ve called it ‘sleep paralysis’An oddly neutral name for a wildly terrifying experienceWhen you’re 7 years old, and frozen withDemons parading your sheetsIt’s no wonder, the darkness called to me.D2 gene. It’s theContinue reading “Body Shock”

#1 healing poetry; soft-soul slumber

I need to let my mind unfold,it’s time to sleep, before I get old,and tired of these looping thoughts, that track me while I wake. When I’m awake,I feel this aching in my bones,At the intersection of a forward/back direction – my hands seem to unfold. I wonder,Is my mind in my hands, instead?And isContinue reading “#1 healing poetry; soft-soul slumber”