A Hug

My tongue is stuck to the top of my mouthLast night, I dreamed of night café’s Served by ghosts, I took coffeeDown a throat, cloggedWith words and tears likeSome old-house drain.I could write the scriptAt this point, I thinkGuzzling coffee, hoping the caffeineWill kick my adrenaline upMy anxiety into hyperdriveMy movements edgy, soI become herContinue reading “A Hug”

Goodbye Coffee Cup

It took me a secondTo recognise that the toneOf our storyHad changedThere was no rhythm in myWordsWhen I eked out theDrama through laughing lipsMy hips are shapedTo this chair whereOnce your lap held meAnd I tried to squirrel myselfDown into a shapeThat would please you moreIt took me a secondTo recognise that the toneOf ourContinue reading “Goodbye Coffee Cup”

Writing and witnessing

It occurred to me today that when I write I am actually looking for something. Searching, sometimes, with an almost clingy desperation for someone to witness the pain and the joy and the small moments of my life that elicit pre-verbal reactions that I never want to explain in the moment. For example, love thatContinue reading “Writing and witnessing”

Not Proud to Hate

I hated herAnd I’m not proud of itAt first I was entranced by herDark curls and bright eyesHow she covered up bright red cheeksWith a rimmel concealer at the tableShe was glamourAnd I loved illusion, then.I hated herAnd I’m not proud of itBut keeping this inside Is making this lieBigger. You knew, and Locked meContinue reading “Not Proud to Hate”

A poem of fire

Someday I’ll write you a poem of fireYou’ll be crying to the nightAbout the desire that you severedFrom your heart when the old shellBegan to break again and again Someday I’ll write you a poem of fireThat will turn your tears to steamIn it we’ll scream togetherVeiled, so they won’t see our faces twistAnd askContinue reading “A poem of fire”

The Taut Truth

I feel tautNext to the presence of your possession.An extra person, is convalescing,In this room, built for just us two.“Is it true?”I think, and worry thatA part of me is excited — To taste the excitement of someone else.To breathe it in through every sense. Does that make sense? They say that if I forgiveContinue reading “The Taut Truth”

The Price of Inauthenticity

I caught myself sound-byting my pain. It was sort of interesting to witness, I wanted to be authentic and here I was doing something pretty similar to what I’ve always done – giving just enough to make you feel you know me, then pulling all of the intricate moments of my life away, leaving bothContinue reading “The Price of Inauthenticity”

Where It Hurts, To Be Alone

I wanted you to know,The beauty of being – When you’re lost. Even if it feels like the cost,Is your heart.This grace will make yourSoul start. Bright, in the mornin’ light,The smoke is gone,And, dazzlin’ mirrors Reflect the cost –Of what’s been lost In dark corners,On a bus. When you’re lost – Take a momentContinue reading “Where It Hurts, To Be Alone”